Best Bahamas Betting Sites Top Recommended Bookmakers 2019

PSA: Countries and their gambling bans

Favor for the GTA Reddit of the day.
Kudos to - www.wizardslots.com and various Redditors for input. I have removed those fields that are just for 'Land Based' as they should allow online gambling alright. Some have very odd laws and will need tested.


Notable edits - Originally the USA was added to this, it is illegal to gamble in Hawaii and Utah for example but the casino seems to function as normal there. There are a few countries as well that have gambling laws but again GTA's seems to duck underneath these. I'm not an enforcer of the law, nor am I a solicitor but common sense would lead me to say if GTA is allowing you to do it then you shouldn't have to worry about anything. If you cannot access the Casino games, VPN's are a known work around but this could net you in trouble. I won't be assisting players on where to find those (various comments have so far) but be warned it is to be used at your own discretion.
submitted by SlapshotTommy to gtaonline [link] [comments]

Wrestling Observer Rewind ★ Aug. 7, 2000

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
PREVIOUS YEARS ARCHIVE:
199119921993199419951996199719981999
1-3-2000 1-10-2000 1-17-2000 1-24-2000
1-31-2000 2-7-2000 2-14-2000 2-21-2000
2-28-2000 3-6-2000 3-13-2000 3-20-2000
3-27-2000 4-3-2000 4-10-2000 4-17-2000
4-24-2000 5-1-2000 5-8-2000 5-15-2000
5-22-2000 5-29-2000 6-5-2000 6-12-2000
6-19-2000 6-26-2000 7-3-2000 7-10-2000
7-17-2000 7-24-2000 7-31-2000
  • We open this week with the death of legendary commentator Gordon Solie from cancer at age 71. Considered by many to be the greatest announcer of all time, Solie had been in bad health for several years after retiring in 1996. He had lung and liver problems from a lifetime of smoking and heavy drinking (if you hadn't heard, Gordon Solie was actually kind of a legendary high-functioning alcoholic). After the cancer and throat surgery robbed him of his voice, he gave up smoking after 55 years. But the surgery didn't work and the cancer spread to his brain. Solie didn't want people to know and asked his closest friends to keep his impending death quiet and until the last couple of weeks, no one outside of his inner circle knew how bad his health had become. Following the death of his wife in 1997 from cancer, Solie had been depressed and was scared of going through the same kind of suffering and had looked into assisted suicide but decided against it. Solie wasn't much of a fan of modern day wrestling but he considered Jim Ross his successor as the best announcer in wrestling and was high on Mike Tenay also. Ric Flair called Solie shortly before his death and is thought to be one of the last people to talk to him. Dave covers his career, from the days of Georgia Championship Wrestling and the Florida territories and eventually becoming the voice of the NWA. The term "crimson mask" is believed to be a Solie creation. He went back to WCW in the early 90s as the Dean of Announcers where he would film little segments here and there (I just recently read Jim Ross' book and he talks about this and basically, they didn't bring Solie back as an announcer full time because he was such an alcoholic that they couldn't depend on him. They'd bring him in early in the morning to do voice-overs because if they waited until afternoon, he'd be too drunk. Ross also tells stories of Solie drinking vodka at the announce table while calling Clash of the Champions shows with him). He was inducted into the WCW Hall of Fame in 1995 but he was unhappy about some of the other inductees and it led to a fight with Eric Bischoff that led to him leaving WCW. There's a LOT of really good historical info about the early GCW and Florida territory days and this is a must-read if you're a fan of that era.
  • There's a whole mess of news coming out of the Owen Hart family lawsuit and related to the typical Hart family drama. This gets a little complicated so follow along. In a wrongful death case, only Owen's parents, wife, and children stand to gain any financial rewards. However, the Kansas City lawyers representing Martha Hart have been accused of entering into an agreement with some of Owen's brothers and sisters for them to receive Stu and Helen's portion of any award, assuming they both die before the case is settled. 5 of the 10 surviving Hart family children signed the agreement. Ellie Hart (married to Jim Neidhart, Natalya's mom) has been the most loyal to WWF in this situation and she's the one who exposed the agreement by sending it to WWF lawyer Jerry McDevitt. The lawyers argued that they did nothing wrong and argued that the document was priveliged information and that WWF lawyers obtained it improperly. The agreement required the siblings who signed on to agree not to communicate or cooperate with the WWF in the case and noted that doing so would make them ineligible to share in any awards if Stu and Helen pass away before the case is over. Some legal experts have said it's arguably witness tampering because it gives potential witnesses a financial incentive to testify the way the prosecution wants.
  • A big part of this case is getting family members to testify to determine how much longer it's believed that Owen would have continued wrestling, which will determine what the lost earnings compensation might be. Hart's lawyers have argued that Owen, who was 34, would have continued wrestling for another 8-15 years, meaning a lost income of anywhere between $6-11 million over that time. Of course, that contradicts what many Hart members stated in the past, that Owen had grown to dislike the business and planned to retire when his contract was up. Of course, everyone in this business always says they're retiring but then they stick around because the money is too good, so who really knows what Owen may have done. Anyway, this could all lead to the lawyers being kicked off the case and possibly even disbarred if it's ruled to be witness tampering. As of now, the agreement that the siblings signed has been rescinded (Martha Hart later said these shenanigans really fucked up their case and was a big part of why she eventually took a settlement and cut the rest of the Hart family out of her life).
  • The WWF has entered into the world of national politics, starting a voter registration campaign and announcing that The Rock will appear at the Republican National Convention. WWF was already planning to do a voter campaign when they got an invitation for The Rock to appear on behalf of Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert as a way for the Republicans to portray themselves as hip and cool to younger voters as the 2000 presidential election looms. WWF claimed to have 14 million eligible voters as fans, which is not true. They're basing that number on the number of 18-and-older fans who watch their shows and arrived at that number by counting all the shows separately, and even that number is inflated. In reality, most fans who watch Raw also watch Smackdown. They're not separate fanbases that you can total up, so once you start factoring in all that stuff, the real number is probably closer to 5.5 million and even that might be a stretch. But hey, if they can encourage that many people to get out and vote, that's nothing to sneeze at and as WWF has proven, if you go out in the media and repeat a lie long enough, people will believe it so the 14 million number is what's being widely reported. WWF is claiming that this will be a bipartisan effort and they plan to have a presence at the Democratic National Convention as well. Dave says there's a history of wrestling fans affecting elections. Obviously, Jesse Ventura and Antonio Inoki rode their wrestling fame to election victories and there's records saying that Richard Nixon's 1968 presidential campaign, in which he barely beat Hubert Humphrey in one of the closes elections on record (just wait 2 months), targeted wrestling fans in the south with heavy campaigning because they were thought to be an easily manipulated audience (whaaa? Wrestling fans easily manipulated? Perish the thought!)
  • This isn't the first appearance by a wrestler at one of these conventions. Gorgeous George was a guest at the 1952 or 56 Republican convention and Fritz Von Erich attended several of them in the 70s and 80s. Ric Flair was invited to this year's as well but he won't be attending. The announcement of Rock at the RNC immediately drew the ire of the PTC. The PTC chairman L. Brent Bozell III put out a statement talking about how Rock uses obscene language on TV and uses weapons and makes demeaning comments about women. "It is unconscionable that one of America's major political parties would give a prime time platform to someone who encourages young children to behave in such a violent and vulgar manner," he said. The PTC urged presidential candidate George W. Bush to withdraw Rock's invitation and is pressuring Speaker Hastert to dis-invite him as well.
  • NJPW ran its first ever PPV event this week and as of press time, there's no PPV number details so who knows if it was a success. PPV is a much smaller business in Japan than the U.S. As a live show, it was a huge success, selling out the 18,000 seat arena and doing a near $2 million gate. The show was built on Atsushi Onita facing Riki Choshu, who came out of a near-3 year retirement, in an exploding barbed wire typical Onita match. It was a terrible match, with Choshu not taking any big bumps and basically throwing Onita around the whole time. Onita ended up needing 43 stitches in his arm and 6 in his back, bringing his alleged career stitches total to 1,322 (remember, he was trying to go for a world record on that at one point). Onita also came into the match really banged up and needed painkiller injections in his arm and knees just to go out to the ring. After the match, Choshu cut a promo saying this was his one and only comeback match and he's going back to being retired but nobody buys it and due to how quick this show sold out and how much money there is to be made, he'll almost definitely keep wrestling (yup). Meanwhile, Onita is claiming he will retire at the end of this year (lol) but wants to do one of his exploding ring matches in the U.S. first, probably for XPW in October. In the opening match on the show, young lion Shinya Makabe beat young lion Hiroshi Tanahashi with a boston crab (I found the match on NJPW World, for those who have a subscription).
WATCH ON NJPW WORLD: Atsushi Onita vs. Riki Choshu - barbed wire death match - July 30, 2000
  • The Rock/Lita vs. Triple H/Trish main event of Raw did a near record number of viewers. 9,965,000 people watched the match, which makes it the 5th most watched match ever on cable TV. Several segments and matches on Nitro (particularly the women's hardcore match and the infamous Viagra-on-a-pole match) did near record-low numbers.
  • CMLL wrestler Dr. Wagner Jr. has apparently agreed to lose his mask before the end of the year against Rayo de Jalisco Jr. which would be one of the biggest matches of the year if he does it (doesn't end up happening and Wagner keeps his mask all the way up until 2017 before losing it and unmasking to reveal himself as the most interesting man in the world).
WATCH: Dr. Wagner Jr. unmasked in 2017
  • In a bit of a surprise, Motoko Baba named herself as the new AJPW president rather than Toshiaki Kawada.
  • A promoter in Australia put together a Superstars of Wrestling tour that featured the in-ring return of Dennis Rodman, along with all the typical chaos that comes along with booking Rodman. He flew to Australia a week in advance to do publicity but partied so much that he missed all his scheduled media appearances the first day, no-showed an autograph signing on another day, etc. He was supposed to appear at one show to set up an angle with Curt Hennig which would lead to a match at the next show but he showed up late, at the very end of the show, and ended up doing a run-in after the match was over right after his arrival. But the next night, Hennig and Rodman had a match that was said to be surprisingly good in Brisbane and another the next night in Sydney that was the best match of the show.
WATCH: Curt Hennig vs. Dennis Rodman
  • Update on the Brian Pillman benefit show from a few months back. Kevin Nash still hasn't sent the family the $20,000 he claimed he was donating. David Arquette also hasn't yet donated what he said he would, but that's because he's still waiting on some big PPV money from WCW to come in, but he has said he is donating all his WCW profits to the Pillman, Hildebrand, and Droz families (Arquette does indeed pay up as soon as those checks come in. Dave will periodically remind us for the next year that Nash still hasn't).
  • Indie wrestler Shark Boy will be appearing on a show during the Discovery Channel's Shark Week but Dave doesn't know what he'll be doing.
  • Not much new on the ECW TV situation. Viewers Choice in Canada may no longer air ECW PPVs there since, as of next month, they will no longer have TV in Canada after TNN cancels them. They've basically got 8 weeks left on TNN. Heyman is still deep in negotiations with other networks but the problem is, ECW needs more than just a TV deal right now. They need a TV partner that is also willing to pump significant money into the company to help them stay afloat and a lot of these TV companies see that ECW is struggling to survive and they're hesitant to invest in it (and thus, the crux of why ECW went out of business. They were a dying company who desperately needed someone to throw them a life preserver and nobody wanted to do it because no one wants to invest millions of dollars into a desperate, dying company. Catch-22'd right out of business).
  • Notes from Nitro: Lance Storm won the cruiserweight title, and now he has 3 of WCW's championships. Then just to show how much it means when a guy in WCW holds 3 titles at once, Kevin Nash came in and disposed of him like garbage before cutting another lame "shoot" promo about the time Pierre Oulette refused to do a job for him when they worked in WWF together, which Dave says only about 10 people in the world probably had a clue what Nash was talking about. He also brought up the idea of bringing Scott Hall back again, because Nash apparently isn't going to let that one go even though Brad Siegel has already said it's never happening. The Shane Douglas vs. Kidman Viagra-on-a-pole match happened and the less said about it the better, other than Mark Madden on commentary being hilarious, jokingly referencing past "famous" Viagra-on-a-pole matches such as Gagne vs. Bockwinkel.
WATCH: Kidman vs. Shane Douglas (Viagra on a Pole match)
  • Notes from Thunder: the taping was delayed about 30 minutes due to a bomb threat in the building. Vince Russo cut a "shoot" primo talking about taking himself off TV, which Dave predicts will last 3 weeks tops. Goldberg also cut a "shoot" promo basically turning himself babyface again. and talking about guys who draw money and yada yada. Dave thinks its probably the best promo Goldberg has ever done but it's still more of the same that the casual fans (which is most of them) have no idea what he's talking about. The problem with this and everything else Russo is booking is that the whole gimmick seems to be "Everything else you see is part of the show but this part is real." But if you do that multiple times per show in nearly every storyline, it kinda loses its impact.
  • Ric Flair is due back around October and is said to be really excited because for the first time in over a year, he's able to train his chest and shoulders again and he hopes to get back into the best shape a 52 year old man can be in. He'll also be able to throw punches and chops again without pain. Word is Brad Siegel actually doesn't want Flair back in the ring, because in keeping with tradition, everybody who's ever ran WCW has tried to push Flair out and they always fail. Russo does want Flair back in the ring, so there ya go. Speaking of Flair, he's currently working on an autobiography.
  • Bret Hart has been working on an autobiography as well. Speaking of, he wrote another Calgary Sun article this week talking about wrestler deaths and acknowledging Davey Boy Smith's current addictions and said, "quite frankly, Davey's situation scares me."
  • WCW contract news and releases: Roddy Piper has been let go, but Dave doesn't have any details. Kathy Dingman, formerly BB in WWF and who appeared on Nitro last week as Kiwi's valet, is already gone from WCW. People in the company are claiming that Bob Holly (her fiance) didn't want her working there. And finally, Nora Greenwald (Mona) has been released (she turns up in WWF soon as Molly Holly). Bobby Heenan has been taken off TV and will only do studio voice overs from now on and his contract expires soon.
  • Goldberg and Booker T pretty much injured each other last week on Nitro. During the match, Goldberg suffered a separated shoulder while Booker T has some sort of knee injury from the match. For what it's worth though, a lot of people in the locker room are said to be skeptical of how hurt Goldberg really is (he was also accused of milking his arm injury awhile back too so he could stay home longer).
  • I'm just going to copy and paste this one because I don't really know what this means or what half of this is in reference to and Dave doesn't really explain. So here goes: "There was an interoffice memo that went around WCW on 7/31, which I guess shows just how respected Russo is these days internally. The memo was entitled "Top Ten Questions Not Asked of Vince Russo." 10) Would you like to take this opportunity to claim credit for the return of Cake Day?; 9) If the Possum is going to wrestle for us, what reoccurring Saturday Night Live character will he be ripping off?; 8) How much did SFX front you for decreasing the value of the organization?; 7) Are you going to let Bill hyphenate his name to Banks-Russo?; 6) Can you funnel the unwanted talent to the Marketing Department? The New VP of Marketing has numerous openings with lots of opportunity for advancement; 5) When is Hulk coming back?; 4) What does the second "W" in WCW stand for?; 3) How many "young and hungry" employees does it take to screw....up an entire company?; 2) "WCW Creative" -- is it a misnomer or simply a contradiction in terms?; 1) Would you know an original idea if it jumped up and bit you on the ass, or would you just think it was the Possum."
  • Fully Loaded looks to have done around a 1.04 buyrate which is better than expected with the unproven guys like Benoit and Jericho in top matches. It's also the Rock's 8th PPV main event to do a 1.0 or higher buyrate which puts him 5th place all time between Hogan, Flair, Austin, and Bret Hart.
  • Notes from Raw: the show was clearly built around pushing Lita and Trish Stratus. The company really has something with Lita and they recognize it. She has sort of a tomboy appeal that is likely to get over big with teenage girls whereas others like Trish or Sable in the past are mostly there to appeal to guys. Steven Richards and Bull Buchanan are now going by the name Right To Cencor (RTC, an obvious spoof on the PTC).
  • Speaking of, the PTC plans to start monitoring Raw, Nitro, and ECW as well along with Smackdown. Dave thinks WCW will back down immediately because the higher-ups at Turner aren't going to fight back against them the way Vince has. And ECW is in an even tougher situation because they can't tone down their product without alienating their fanbase but they also can't afford to start losing advertisers.
  • Both the Undertaker and Chris Jericho injury angles this week were done to write them off TV for a week or so because they're both taking off for their honeymoons. Jericho's wedding was front page news in the Winnipeg Sun the next day noting that Manitoba's sexiest man (which he was recently voted in a newspaper poll) was now off the market. In attendance at Jericho's wedding were Don Callis, Billy Kidman, Lance Storm, Edge, Christian, and Disco Inferno. In unrelated news, Jericho is also filming a Chef Boyardee commercial next month in the Bahamas.
  • Jim Cornette basically isn't planning to return to Knoxville until if/when the charges against him are dropped.
  • Steve Austin is still training like a madman for his comeback and they're optimistic that he'll be okay to at least come back in a limited role later this year. His legs are reportedly huge because for most of the time he was out, that's the only training he could really do.
  • A recent news story came out noting that the XFL is having trouble attracting advertisers because all the major companies are being cautious because no one knows what this whole XFL thing is gonna be yet. No one knows if this is going to be closer to NFL football or WWF wrestling and basically, sponsors are hedging their bets until we get a better idea of what exactly the XFL is going to be. Some people are already predicting failure, with one sports marketing expert quoted saying that he thinks the XFL will make a splash in the beginning, but won't last in the long run.
  • Raw on TNN begins on Sept. 25th. The final WWF show on USA will be Sunday Night Heat the night before that.
  • The Haas Brothers (Charlie and Russ) appeared as extras during the Edge & Christian and Acolytes skit on Smackdown along with wrestlers Patty O'Brien and Billy Reil, all of whom wrestle for Jersey All Pro Wrestling (the Haas brothers end up getting signed eventually but sadly Russ dies while they're still in OVW. Charlie went on to have a pretty decent career).
  • Regarding rumors that Eddie Guerrero, Saturn, and Dean Malenko are regretting their decision to jump to WWF, Dave says there's no truth to it. Eddie and Saturn are both working through nagging injuries right now which has taken a told mentally and physically, and Malenko is said to not be thrilled with his current storyline of wrestling against women, but all that said, all 3 men are said to be very happy where they are and glad to not be in WCW anymore.
  • There's been some talk of doing a Benoit vs. Triple H match at Wrestlemania next year, with Triple H expected to be a babyface by then. Rock vs. Austin would still likely headline the show. Of course, things change hourly in this business now and Wrestlemania is still many months away so don't hold your breath.
  • In its annual SEC report, the WWF revealed that the World Wildlife Fund has filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against them relating to a contract both sides signed back in 1994 regarding the WWF initials. The suit claims that the WWF violated the contract by using the WWF logo in places it had agreed not to use it, such as internet domain names like wwf.com and wwfshopzone.com as well as using the term "WWF" in foreign broadcasts. WWF argues that the current WWF scratch logo was created after the 1994 agreement and thus not covered under the deal they signed. In the SEC report, WWF noted that if the court rules against them, it could "have a material adverse effect" on company operations. Yeah, just a tad. I'm sure this doesn't turn into a big deal or anything......
  • At a recent house show in Pensacola, Mick Foley came out beforehand and talked about the last time he was in that city, he worked for a different company (meaning WCW) which got the crowd to boo. Foley then said they weren't booing loud enough so of course, they booed even louder. Then he pulled a great rib on Al Snow, saying that when Snow comes out to wrestle his match later that night, the fans should chant for Foley. Needless to say, that's exactly what happened and Al Snow wrestled a match while the entire crowd chanted "Foley! Foley!"
  • A few letters this week trashing Vince Russo and talking about how he's so obsessed and into the hardcore internet fanbase reaction that he assumes everyone else is too, but they're not. Someone writes in about the recent "shoot" promos and how most people at home were probably scratching their heads going, "Who is Brad Siegel?" since he's never been a character or mentioned on TV before until that promo. Someone else points out that by pretending this match you're seeing here is a shoot, it kills the credibility of the rest of the show and all the worked matches, which is the business that WCW is in.
WEDNESDAY: the future of WCW in question, Observer Hall of Fame news, more on Hart family lawyer mess, and more...
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(DEC 19) THURSDAY'S DAILY MAC ATTACK FREE PICKS BELOW!

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Bowl Matchups by Mascots

Hello cfb!
It's bowl season!!!
Here is my analysis of each bowl matchup if the teams' mascots/nicknames duked it out instead of the players. With so many abstract/fictional/nonsense team names, I'm going to use my best (or some other type of) judgement. Feel free to fight me over any of these. I'm going to use a solo version of the mascot where appropriate ("Wolf Pack" still get a bunch of wolves, etc)
 

Game 1 - New Mexico Bowl - Aggies vs Mean Green (Utah State vs North Texas)

Winner: Mean Green. Our first bowl game goes to "Mean Green," with the legendary DT crushing an old frail farmer. Even if the Aggie was a young strapping buck, I'm still taking Mean Joe. Mean Joe pounds the farmer 49-14.

Game 2 - Cure Bowl - Green Wave vs Ragin' Cajuns (Tulane vs ULM-Lafayette)

Winner: Ragin' Cajuns. I've seen a few bad storms hit the gulf coast, and those Cajuns always bounce back. They're resilient, and our lone Cajun spend the entire game bracing against the strong water. Eventually the storm subsides, and he walks into the endzone for the win.

Game 3 - Las Vegas Bowl - Bulldog vs Sun Devil (Fresno State vs Arizona State)

Winner: Sun Devils. Devils are sneaky and can like... do magic and shit. The devil turn the bulldog into a field mouse and waves his pitchfork while the ball flies around the field. He gets a bit too cocky in the 2nd quarter and accidentally pops the ball on his pitchfork. He vanishes and times ticks out as the butterfly tries to repeated fly into the new ball and push it. It doesn't work. 35-0 Sun Devil.

Game 4 - Camellia Bowl - Eagles vs Eagles (Eastern Michigan vs Georgia Southern)

Winner: Draw... They sit on opposite goal posts and stare at each other until the game is finally called so the refs can get some sleep.

Our

Game 5 - New Orleans Bowl - Mountaineers vs Blue Raiders (Appalachian State vs Middle Tennessee)

Winner: Mountaineers. The mountain man gets the ball first and scores while the blue raider kind of just stumbles around. A couple minutes after the game started, the raider drops to the field dead. The mountaineer tries to resuscitate him to no avail. Unfortunately, no one noticed the reason the raider was blue was because he was choking. The mountaineer tries to help out and comfort people because he's a good guy, and he still wins 7-0.

Game 6 - Boca Raton Bowl - Huskies vs Blazers (Northern Illinois vs UAB)

Winner: Huskies. The husky seems a bit nervous before the game, thinking he's about to face a scary dragon. When the representatives are called to the field, the husky notices some guy toss a jacket on the field. The husky easily scores a few TDs before the game is over. 21-0 huskies.

Game 7 - Frisco Bowl - Bobcats vs Aztecs (Ohio vs San Diego State)

Winner: In our first recreation of a traditional Roman gladiator match, we get a really exciting game. Bobcats are small, but they can burst out for 25-30 mph runs. It's tied at half 14-14. The Aztec is using the "kill your opponent" strategy, but finding the bobcat to be a bit elusive. Finally, in the 4th quarter, the bobcat scores to go down 34-35. While celebrating, the Aztec takes a cheap shot with his macuahuitl, injuring the cat. Unable to continue, the bobcat forfeits.

Game 8 - Gasparilla Bowl - Bulls vs Thundering Herd (South Florida vs Marshall)

Winner: Thundering Herd. A single bull vs. a herd of just about any animal would be a tough task. I'll stay true to Marshall's mascot and assume this is a herd of buffalo. The heard of buffalo easily distract and confuse the lone bull, dominating it 45-0 (don't ask how they got a field goal.)

Game 9 - Bahamas Bowl - Rockets vs Panthers (Toledo vs Florida International)

Winner: Panthers. In a stunning upset, the panther shocks the world! Rockets take quite a while to prep and launch, so the panther uses this time to score a couple touchdowns. Shortly into the 2nd quarter, the rocket finally takes off and everyone realizes what's about to happen. The panther and fans scramble to escape the stadium. Because I'm not mean, we'll let everyone live. The rocket crashes into the stadium and destroys everything, including itself. Unfortunately, that's not how you score in football. The game is over before halftime, the panther winning 14-0.

Game 10 - Potato Bowl - Cougars vs Broncos (BYU vs Western Michigan)

Winner: Cougars. In our first single mammal vs single mammal matchup, and one of the most highly anticipated bowl games thus far, the fans were in for a treat. Cougars are fairly small compared to broncos, but neither are good handling the ball. There's a bunch of gnashing of teeth and kicking of hooves. Both teams fight to end, but the cougar finally pulls away toward the end, as the bronco wasn't trained for the endurance battle. Cougars wins 35-28.

Game 11 - Birmingham Bowl - Tigers vs Demon Deacons (Memphis vs Wake Forest)

Winner: Demon Deacons. Even though he's dressed as a holy man, it's still a demon. He teases the tiger for the majority game, but never lets it get close. He's still a gentleman though, so he's not as rude as the previous demons in our list. 24-7 final.

Game 12 - Armed Forces Bowl - Cougars vs Black Knights (Houston vs Army)

Winner: Black Knights. . This game ends much close than many expected. The black knight attempts to play fair, and it almost costs him. His heavy armour leads to the cougar having the advantage on speed. It's still pretty easy for him to carry the ball though and swing his sword to scare off the cougar as needed. The black knights plays the TOP game, and squeaks out the win 21-14.

Game 13 - Dollar General Bowl - Bulls vs Trojans (Buffalo vs Troy)

Winner: Trojan. For the most part, warriofighter type humans will typically beat animals, and, and this game is no exception. The trojan is viscous and brutal and slays the bull in the first quarter. Taking no chances, he runs up the score 77-0.

Game 14 - Hawaii Bowl - Rainbow Warriors vs Bulldogs (Hawaii vs Louisiana Tech)

Winner: Hawaiian Warrior. I'm getting a bit drunk, and I'm not even halfway through. This game pretty much goes as expected. The rainbow warrior has a good heart and wouldn't kill a dog for no reason. He even lets the little puppy score a garbage time TD. 35-7.

Game 15 - First Responder Bowl - Broncos vs Eagles (Boise State vs Boston College)

Winner: Eagles. In our first mammal vs. bird (dubbed the Battle of the Classes), we see some unique techniques. Although smaller, the eagle is much more agile and aggressive. It executes its plan masterfully as it taunts and out-maneuvers the bronco. It forces multiple turnovers zigging and zagging through the slower bronco's thick body, proving that birds > mammals. 27-7.

Game 16 - Quick Lane Bowl - Yellow Jackets vs Golden Gophers (Georgia Tech vs Minnesota)

Winner: Gopher. The yellow jacket got off to a promising start, landing a couple stings on the gopher. The gopher realized it needed to better utilize its (under) ground attack better, and the ball wasn't seen again until there were 10 seconds left in the game. The gopher popped up from under the wasps's endzone and scored the game's only TD. 7-0.

Game 17 - Cheez-It Bowl - Horned Frogs vs Golden Bears (TCU vs California)

Winner: Golden Bears. This one isn't even close. The frog's only defensive mechanism was no match at all the bear's superior strength. Ignoring the blood, it squashes the poor frog on the first play. The bear marches into the endzone, then moves toward the crowd. No one saw the end of the game, but it was 7-0 and the frog was dead, so... 7-0.

Game 18 - Independence Bowl - Owls vs Blue Devils (Temple vs Duke)

Winner: Blue Devils. Wasting no time, the blue devil zaps the owl, turning it into a butterfly. A gust of wind blows the butterfly away from the stadium, and it spends the rest of the time trying to fly back to the field. The blue devil scores a single touchdown, then heads to the bleachers to hit on sorority girls. He's quite the devil ;) 7-0

Game 19 - Pinstripe Bowl - Hurricanes vs Badgers (Miami vs Wisconsin)

Winner: Hurricanes. Hurricanes are brutal and unforgiving. It demolishes the stadium at the very beginning, throwing the badger and fans in all directions. Fortunately it won the coin toss, so the ball crossing the goal line still counts. 7-0

Game 20 - Texas Bowl - Commodores vs Bears (Vanderbilt vs Baylor)

Winner: Bears. In a shocking upset, the bear wins this one. Unfortunately the commodore is pretty ineffective off his ship. Despite being in Houston, he couldn't find a way to bring the game to the sea. Despite the commodore's best attempts, the uncoordinated bear manages to win 28-21.

Game 21 - Music City Bowl - Tigers vs Boilermakers (Auburn vs Purdue)

Winner: Tigers. In another rare upset of animal over human, the tiger showed why it's the king of the jungle (lions don't live in jungles. Idk who came up with that). Despite being smart and probably good at... building boilers... this is (a version of) football. The boilermaker has no weapons and hid on the bench the entire game. Tiger managed to nudge a few balls over the goal-line for a 21-0 win.

Game 22 - Camping World Bowl - Mountaineers vs Orange (West Virginia vs Syracuse)

Winner: Mountaineers. In probably the most boring game thus far, the mountaineer walks out to shake the opponents hand and decides to just eat it. This mountaineer wasn't quite as nice as the last one, and he decides to run up the score a bit. He's also a bit clumsier than the last one and somehow gives up a safety. 49-2.

Game 23 - Alamo Bowl - Coyotes vs Cyclones (Washington State vs Iowa State)

Winner: Coyotes. This game plays out basically the exact same as the Hurricanes vs Badgers (minus some water.) Unfortunately for the cyclone, the coyote started with the ball. The cyclone scores the only goal on itself and loses 7-0.

Game 24 - Belk Bowl - Gamecocks vs Cavaliers (South Carolina vs Virginia)

Winner: Cavaliers. The cavalier is pissed because he heard "football" and assumed it was soccer. He chases down the bird and slaughters. He builds a fire and starts roasting it while discussing with the refs the rules of the of the game. The refs try to just convince the cavalier to pick up the ball and walk into the endzone, but he's scared to use his hands. It takes 4 overtimes for the bird to be done cooking and for the cavalier to finally agree to pick the ball up. He still dribbles the ball into the endzone with his feet, and reaches down to touch it. The refs call the game, and the 10 fans that stayed for some grilled pheasant cheer. 7-0

Game 25 - Arizona Bowl - Red Wolves vs Wolf Pack (Arkansas State vs Nevada)

Winner: Wolf Pack (but really everyone won this one). Wolves are super cool. The game starts and the wolf pack begins testing the red wolf. Even though he has no chance, the red wolf fights tooth and nail and the pack is impressed. At halftime, the pack invites the lone wolf to join its pack. He agrees and announces his mid-game transfer. With no opponent, the pack wins even though they were already winning 24-0.

Game 26 - Military Bowl - Wildcats vs Hokies (Cincinnati vs Virginia Tech)

Winner: Wildcats. There was a feeling of sick nostalgia (i'd imagine this is the same feeling I get when I smell Patron Citron?) in the stadium, but no one actually showed up for VT. The wildcat played with the ball a bit and managed to get a couple TDs. 14-0

Game 27 - Sun Bowl - Cardinal vs Panthers (Stanford vs Pittsburgh)

Winner: Panther. It's a color. Vegas didn't even accept bets on this game. The field was a deep shade of red, but for the second game in a row, the single player managed to "run unopposed." He was a bit better than the lynx though. 28-0.

Game 28 - Redbox Bowl - Ducks vs Spartans (Oregon vs Michigan State)

Winner: Spartans. Again, not even close. The spartan is focused and takes the game very seriously. The duck wanders around with no clue what's going on. Somewhere in the middle of the 3rd period, the duke accidentally got in the way of the spartan, who proceeded to slow-motion flip over the duck while slicing its beak off. Poor duck :(. Btw if you're actually reading this, pm me and I'll give you silver. Spartan wins 300-0.

Game 29 - Liberty Bowl - Tigers vs Cowboys (Missouri vs Oklahoma State)

Winner: Cowboys. Thankfully for OSU, they sent their best sharp-shooter. The tiger tried running straight for the cowboy before the game even started. The cowboy got off a perfect shot right between the eyes, dropping the wild cat from 30 yards out. The cowboy had work to do, so he scored a single TD and left the field. 7-0

Game 30 - Holiday Bowl - Utes vs Wildcats (Utah vs Northwestern)

Winner: Wildcats. A young boy wanders onto the field and the Leopard smacks his lips. He makes a bee-line straight for the kid and ferociously devours the little kid, avenging his previously slain brethren. The fans are in shock, and the leopard scores a touchdown before getting chased out of the stadium by fans of both teams. The NCAA holds an emergency meeting about the future of the sport, but decide the games are more important. No one knew who the kid was anyway. 7-0 Wildcats. You're kind of mean Northwestern.

Game 31 - Gator Bowl - Aggies vs Wolf Pack (Texas A&M vs NC State)

Winner: Wolf Pack. Leading the wolf packs to a 3-0 post-season record, the wolves make short work of the pitchfork-wielding farmer. Everyone already seems to have forgotten the previous week, and the wolves punch in a couple rushing tds. 14-0

Game 32 - Outback Bowl - Bulldogs vs Hawkeyes (Mississippi State vs Iowa)

Winner: Hawkeyes. He snipes the bulldog with ease and it's a super boring game. 21-0.

Game 33 - Citrus Bowl - Nittany Lions vs Wildcats (Penn State vs Kentucky)

Winner: Nittany Lions. The small basically housecat was super intimidated by the real wild cat. The Nittany Lion scored quick, and decided to take the full-grown wildcat back to her pride, thinking she was a baby "real lion." 7-0.

Game 34 - Peach Bowl - Gators vs Wolverines (Florida vs Michigan)

Winner: Gators. Despite being a miniature bear, gators are insanely powerful. On the first drive, the gator popped the ball. It still wandered into the endzone and laid down in the sunny Georgia weather. The wolverines and the refs were too scared to retrieve the ball from the gator, and time expired. 7-0.

Game 35 - Orange Bowl - Crimson Tide vs Sooners (Alabama vs Oklahoma)

Winner: Sooners. The sooner is completely unphased by a bit of red water, and proceeds to scored a few touchdowns before realizing this is a waste of time. He cuts out a little piece of sod and runs off the field. 21-0.

Game 36 - Cotton Bowl - Tigers vs Fighting Irish (Clemson vs Notre Dame)

Winner: Fighting Irish. In no surprise to anyone, the soldier with the gun manages to kill the cat early in the game. Most of these games are really just about the first 5 minutes. People just attend these events to see the initial bloodshed. 56-0.

Game 37 - Fiesta Bowl - Tigers vs Golden Knights (LSU vs UCF)

Winner: Golden Knights. This game literally plays out the exact same as the Army game. Literally every play is identical, every drive is identical. The media and fans throw out a ton of conspiracy theories, but it eventually dies down to a weird historical fact. 21-14

Game 38 - Rose Bowl - Buckeyes vs Huskies (Ohio State vs Washington)

Winner: Huskies. The husky doesn't even notice the lone little nut on the field. He plays with the ball for an hour. 21-0.

Game 39 - Sugar Bowl - Bulldogs vs Longhorns (Georgia vs Texas)

Winner: Bulldogs. Because Tuck Fexas. Just kidding, I'm not that petty. They actually lost because the bulldog (despite being a terrible breed of dog), was much quicker and agile than the huge cow. It was able to force several take-aways and ran laps around the out-of-shape massive horny boi. 28-7.

Game 40 - CFB Championship - Sooners vs Fighting Irish (Oklahoma vs Notre Dame)

Winner: Sooners. Our first and ONLY human vs human game. The sooner has a massive advantage with their wagon being a part of their identity. They're able to hide inside, and pop out for shots against the Irish soldier. Also, many soldiers in WWI were vastly under-trained, while the land-grabbers were survivalists and pioneers. Both men ignore the football, knowing the only way to win the game is knocking out their opponent. Both humans had agreed on no kill-shots, and the sooner manages to tag the arm of the Irish soldier in the arm in the 4th quarter. He waits until there's a few seconds left on the clock and walks the ball into the endzone. 7-0.

 
 

Summary

There really isn't any. It was fun and I definitely took some leisure in my interpretations of the team representatives, but if you actually read this, then thanks for the time. I really should get a girlfriend.
submitted by Laurim to CFB [link] [comments]

Removed comments/submissions for /u/fingerslinger58

Hi fingerslinger58, you're not shadowbanned, but 17 of your most recent 100 comments/submissions were removed. They may be removed automatically by spam filters and not necessarily by human moderators.
Comment (2pts) in weekendgunnit, "NY media cucks", (24 Nov 19):
weekendalamo
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Typical
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Black at it again
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Fuck em
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What’s the most polite way to ask a woman to ride my face
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Good
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I make movies. I make motion pictures. SPACE Movies. Do you like space? I film in California. Name of my company is “Bellamafia Quagafella Records Incorporated by Ryhme-Syndicate: Three-Yellow Men Tri...
Comment (1pts) in u_fanduel, "Never settle, always get the best odds. Take your sports...", (27 Sep 19):
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Comment (1pts) in u_blesstheharts, "What do ya’ll think about Wayne’s idea? I bet you’ve had a...", (26 Sep 19):
I make movies. I make motion pictures. SPACE Movies. Do you like space? I film in California. Name of my company is “Bellamafia Quagafella Records Incorporated by Ryhme-Syndicate: Three-Yellow Men Tri...
Comment (1pts) in u_blesstheharts, "*What do ya’ll think about Wayne’s idea? I bet you’ve had a...", (23 Sep 19):
I make movies. I make motion pictures. SPACE Movies. Do you like space? I film in California. Name of my company is “Bellamafia Quagafella Records Incorporated by Ryhme-Syndicate: Three-Yellow Men Tri...
Comment (1pts) in u_JohnWickMovie, "Just try calling off these dogs. Tell us what the dogs are...", (27 Aug 19):
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Swedistan “ EveRyONe Is eQuAlL bEfOrE tHe LaW” bullshit
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R.I.P. to Sweden
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You always hear that “man you better not go down there” or “awww shit” when you go in a black neighborhood or say something to a nog. There’s an automatic anger or violence issue.. they just chimp out...
Comment (0pts) in blackpeoplegifs, "Whose mans this?", (16 Jun 19):
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Welcome to /r/CFB! Here is your 2018 Rules Refresher and Our Pre-Season Schedule

Kliff Kingsbury Dudes and dudettes, welcome back to college football!
We are now less than two weeks away from the first FBS games of the 2018-2019 college football season. LET'S DO THIS!

Tigger Are you new here?

We would like to welcome you to the greatest place on the internet, /CFB! We are a community of over 450,000 college football fanatics from all over the globe who live and breathe college football and are some of the most passionate fans you’ll ever find. We love arguing about BBQ, beer, and fall weddings #stopfallweddings.
There is just something about college football that grabs you and makes you want to scream at a TV for 12 straight hours on Saturdays. We should warn you, however, that college football is not for the faint of heart. There will be rage, laughter, sorrow, celebration, and shock.
There are countless CFB teams for you to root for - wherever you are in the USA (or even some parts of the world), you've got a college football team nearby. We do our best to cover them all.
Once you have found a team to support you should consider picking up a flair to show your fandom and pride. /CFB has over 2,300 unique flairs to choose from. /CFB currently has the ability for dual flairs. This allows you to show your fandom for two teams or your team and its conference, or even show your support for BelkBowl and wear a flair for your favorite bowl game!
Each Saturday there will be a number of Game Threads where discussion for each game goes on. For the Featured Games on the sidebar, CFB_Referee will post a Featured Game Thread an hour before kickoff. If you don't see a thread for the game you are watching, feel free to make one with our Game Thread Creator!
Here are some links you should visit...

A Hungry Cougar in the Rain What happened during the offseason?

The off-season is dark and full of terror.
To check out more /CFB OC click here.

Touchdown Rule Refresher

Here at /CFB we have some pretty simple rules but here are some of the important ones to keep in mind.
No flair based downvoting
While there is no way for us to check this, we would still like to bring it to attention. The downvote button does not exist to put down teams you don't like, people you don't like, or opinions you don't like. Instead, use it to get rid of trolls or bad content. Downvoting just because of flair makes Coach Snyder sad. Don't make Coach Snyder sad.
No flamebait, personal attacks or harassment
Does this really need to be explained? Don't be a troll. Have a good time on /CFB and be nice. No argument is worth getting into on the internet. We encourage strong debates and good discussion but if it ultimately comes down to "You are wrong, I am right" and name calling you will be banned.
No racism, homophobia, sexism, or other bigotry
Seriously. Discussing college football should never lead to this. Remember, this is a place to talk about football, that's it. One of the great things about /CFB is that it isn't the ESPN or AL.com comment sections - it's a welcoming place for fans of all teams, regardless of who you are.
Tweets must be made as self-posts
To cut down on Tweet-spam, all direct Twitter links will be removed.
Use the weekly threads
Like last season we have a weekly thread on every day of the week. These threads cover everything from predictions to highlights. If you post a link that belongs in one of these threads it will be removed without warning.
Word-for-word pasting of paywall content
We can't allow users to repost content from paid sites. There is a reason the paywall exists and writers deserve the money. Feel free to quickly summarize an article, though.
Which team/fanbase is X threads
Threads designed to put down other teams or fanbases will be removed. We want posts that encourage positive discussion and debate, not collective hate. We have had plenty of these threads in the past and there is no reason to have anymore. Example thread titles include "Which fanbase is most delusional?" and "Which team do you irrationally hate?"
Reporting
While this isn't a rule, it does help us make sure the rules get applied consistently. We can't be everywhere, so that means we need you to help out by reporting posts that break the rules. You may have noticed the new options for reporting comments and submissions - hopefully this will make things easier!
NEW
We now have a separate site with our full list of rules and guidelines! PLEASE READ THE FULL LIST OF RULES HERE! This includes information about our ban policy, our post rules, and our rules for posting about recruits and transfers.

Kirk Herbstreit Weekly Threads

Now that the season is beginning weekly threads will be back up. We have at least one thread each day. CFP Ranking threads begin the week those rankings are released. Here is the schedule...
Day Thread Time (ET)
Monday MS Paint Monday Varies
Applaud Your Team* Varies
Tuesday Best of /CFB 10:55 AM
Weekly /CFB Poll Discussion 11:00 AM
Trivia Tuesday* Varies
CFP Rankings Show 6:45 PM
CFP Committee Rankings 8:00 PM
CFP Rankings - Serious Discussion 8:00 PM
CFP Rankings 9:30 PM
Wednesday Dear CFB: Going to a Game Advice 10:55 AM
Prediction 11:00 AM
Pick'em 12:00 PM
Whose Line is it Wednesday* Varies
Thursday User-Friendly Bet 10:55 AM
TRASH TALK THURSDAY 11:00 AM
Friday Freshman Friday 10:55 AM
Free Talk Friday 11:00 AM
Saturday Saturday Tailgate 8:00 AM
ESPN's College Football Gameday 9:00 AM
Picture/Video/GIFs 9:00 AM
/CFB After Dark 11:00 PM
Featured Games Varies
Sunday CFP Talk 9:00 AM
Complain About Your Team 11:00 AM
AP Poll 1:55 PM
Weekly Wind Down 3:00 PM
*These threads are run by users and are not scheduled
Due to volume of submissions, the threads for the AP Poll, and CFP Rankings will be posted automatically by CFB_Referee. The Coaches Poll however is open to being posted as links. Whoever posts first, wins. Please be sure to link to the official websites for each poll. Duplicates will be removed. When the CFP Rankings come out a weekly thread will begin devoted to "True Discussion" of the rankings. This thread will allow users to discuss them without jokes or other unrelated content.
This year we're also bringing back last year's weekly conference threads for the ACC, B1G, Big XII, Pac-12, SEC, and Other. We'll post the first ones as part of our pre-season schedule, but after that we have regular users who will post them through our system.

Goldy Social Media

In case you don't know, /CFB is very active in social media. We have several accounts to make sure you don't miss out on all of the action. Here is a list...
If you are at a tailgate or game, tweet a photo of it tagged with #RCFB and we will retweet them! This season we are trying to get a nationwide look into college football each Saturday. We are attempting to reinvigorate our Instagram presence. Please send us any and all pictures and videos from your CFB experiences and we'll repost our favorite in our Story!
Twitter
Instagram
Pintrest
Periscope
Discord

/CFB Ball Preseason Schedule

New this year, we're modifying how we're handling our regular Weekly Threads in the lead up to the season. The big difference here will be that we're splitting up the Prediction Thread into 8 different threads. There will be 1 thread for each P5 conference, 1 for the G5, a "BOLD" prediction thread, and finally 1 for overall season predictions like who will make the playoffs or win the Heisman. We are also going to limit the number of Depth Chart posts to a single thread where you can post and discuss them all to your heart's content. Additionally, the other Weekly Threads will have their own pre-season counterparts posted on their typical days. Here's what the Pre-Season Schedule will look like:
Day Thread Time (ET)
Saturday 8/18 Pre-Season Complain About Your Team 10:55 AM
G5 Predictions 11:00 AM
FCS Predictions 12:00 PM
Weekly FCS Discussion 8:00 PM
Weekly G5 Discussion 9:00 PM
Sunday 8/19 Off Season Picture/Video/GIF/Memes 9:00 AM
FBS Independents Predictions 11:00 AM
FBS Independents Discussion 10:00 PM (9:00 PM CT)
Monday 8/20 MS Paint Monday 10:55 AM
ACC Predictions 11:00 AM
Weekly ACC Discussion 9:00 PM
Hype Videos 9:00 PM
Tuesday 8/21 B1G Predictions 11:00 AM
Weekly B1G Discussion 10:00 PM (9:00 PM CT)
Wednesday 8/22 Dear CFB: Going to a Game Advice 10:55 AM
Big XII Predictions 11:00 AM
Weekly Big XII Discussion 10:00 PM (9:00 PM CT)
Thursday 8/23 Season-Long User-Friendly Bets 10:50 AM
PRE-SEASON TRASH TALK 10:55 AM
Pac-12 Predictions 11:00 AM
Weekly Pac-12 Discussion 11:59 PM (8:59 PM PT)
Friday 8/24 Pre-Season Freshman Friday 10:55 AM
SEC Predictions 11:00 AM
Weekly SEC Discussion 9:00 PM
GAMEDAY [Week 0] Saturday Tailgate 8:00 AM
[Week 0] Picture/Video/GIFs 9:00 AM
BOLD Predictions 10:55 AM
2018 Season Prediction 11:00 AM
Sunday 8/26 [Week 0] Weekly Wind Down 3:00 PM
Monday 8/27 2018 Depth Charts Discussion 11:00 AM
Tuesday 8/28 [Week 0] Best of /CFB 10:55 AM
Any threads that overlap with the above will be removed.
Note: Featured game threads will be selected soon!

Lee Corso Final Thoughts

This season will be the biggest and busiest season in /CFB's history. We've nearly doubled in size since our welcome post last year. Seriously - we had just passed 250,000 subscribers this time last year and now we're staring down half a million. We continue to grow and push our outreach even farther, adding more CFB media coverage and outreach, new AMAs, and new options for our users. But remember, /CFB is built by you, the user. Without the daily content submitted or the thousands of comments, /CFB would be a barren place. We hail ourselves as being the best subreddit on reddit and we are doing our best to keep it that way. With so many users, there are bound to be a few bad apples. Don't let them steer you away. Let's do our best to welcome new users and educate them on the sport we all know and love. Here is to more touchdowns, more fans, and another amazing season on /CFB.
submitted by CFB_Referee to CFB [link] [comments]

The Newlyweds Next Door (A forced feminisation story) [Femdom]

Chapter One
Carl and Serena turned down the road into the suburbs with the moving van in tow. Having been born and lived all his life in the city Carl had been doubtful about making the move from the hectic bustle and noise that he had grown so accustomed to but Serena had persuaded him it would be best for the both of them. He had to agree with her that the area was nice, it was quiet, almost serene and it wasn’t too far from the city for commuting. The two of them had looked at each other after parking in their new drive way before holding hands and making their way inside.
“Welcome to our new home Mrs Hill.” Carl pulled Serena in to embrace and she giggled in excitement. They had only been married a week and they’d only just come back from a three day break in the Bahamas for their honeymoon. It had been perfect, the views, the early excited times as a married couple. The sex had been as it always had been, they weren’t a couple who had waited before marriage and although Carl was average both in his equipment and in the act itself, it was enough for Serena. Whether it was because she’d never had mind blowing sex before or because she was just wired like that, it never really bothered her.
The married couple happily made their way through unpacking the boxes that they had packed before the wedding from their old apartment in the city. Now everything was in the house and they had paid the removal men they sat back and relaxed whilst sorting the boxes when the doorbell rang.
“Hello?” Carl answered with Serena at his side curious as to who it may be.
“Hello and welcome to the neighbourhood! My name is Olivia, I live next door.” Carl and Serena nervously shook her hand and thanked her for greeting them. There was something impressive about Olivia that made Serena uneasy. She easily towered over both her and Carl who were both a little short and if they couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated despite her warm welcome. They introduced themselves briefly saying how they had moved from the city and asked Olivia about the neighbourhood.
“It is a very close knit neighbourhood, everyone gets on well and looks out for each other. In fact I’m hosting a BBQ this very evening, perhaps you’d both like to join us yes? Introduce yourselves to your new neighbours.” The newlyweds both agreed and said they’d see Olivia later that evening before returning to unpacking the boxes.
The evening arrived and Carl and Serena stood nervously outside Olivia’s door, a bottle of wine in hand. They were both dressed casually after their busy afternoon and both immediately felt inferior as soon as Serena answered the door in a stunning dress that looked like it belonged on the runway. She welcomed them both inside accepting the bottle of wine with thanks and led them outside to her garden where the BBQ was taking place. It seemed they were one of the last to arrive as everyone was out talking in their small groups, drinking alcohol and awaiting for the first of the food to be cooked. Nervously the couple looked around as Olivia walked outside and introduced them to their new neighbours.
Carl and Serena were having a great time getting to know their neighbours. The food was great and with the social aid of alcohol they found it easy to speak and joke with their new neighbours. As the late afternoon passed to early evening some were starting to show the effects of drinking and the atmosphere changed from the relaxed summer BBQ it was into a party as the sun set and people moved inside. Olivia set up her expensive looking sound system and put on some modern pop music and earned a cheer from her guests as they started dancing and drinking more inside.
Carl and Serena were both starting to feel the effects of the alcohol and wondered whether they should excuse themselves but they didn’t want to appear rude and be the first to leave. Besides, they were both having a very good time speaking and partying despite how tired they felt. As Serena spoke to one of the women in the same age group as hers Carl noticed one of the older guys go out the room with Olivia and disappear. He thought nothing of it but they didn’t return for another half an hour and the older guy looked a little flustered on his return. ‘Maybe it was the alcohol and he didn’t notice the guy return in the room earlier’ Carl thought to himself but a little later he saw Olivia leave the room with the older guy’s wife. This time he paid more attention, looking around to see if she returned straight away but again she was gone for around half an hour before she returned with Olivia, again looking slightly flustered. Perhaps he was overthinking this he thought, maybe they just got into a heated discussion in the toilet or something.
“So, how’re you enjoying the party?” Carl and Serena looked up after sharing a passionate kiss to see Olivia smirking at them. They complimented her on the party she had hosted saying how good of a job she had done and how great of a time they’d had. Olivia joined them sitting down and she spoke a little about the neighbours, she spoke highly of them and seemed to know a great deal about all of them. A few minutes later Carl noticed Serena sway slightly and she dropped her glass on the carpet. For a moment Carl’s heart jumped as he dreaded the stain she would have left on Olivia’s expensive carpet but thankfully the glass had been empty.
“I don’t feel so good.” Serena groaned as Carl asked if she was okay. Tenderly he helped her up to help her home.
“Is everything okay?” Olivia asked, her tone full of worry. “Help her outside, perhaps a little air will do her some good yes?” He leads her out into Olivia’s back garden and helps her onto a seat before going back to getting his drink. It had been a while since they’d both drunk like this, it was inevitable one of them would ended up too drunk. He sighed as he continued drinking whilst stroking her hair as she leaned against him.
“How is she doing?” Olivia asked as she came out with two more drinks. Carl took the drink gratefully and said that she was half asleep to which Serena mumbled something incoherently. Olivia shrugged apologetically.
“Perhaps I should get her home, thank you for tonight.” The disappointment was clear in Carl’s voice. It was one of those great nights that had ended bitterly when he still wanted to party. He knew with married life there wouldn’t be too much opportunity to do so in the future.
“Nonsense, the night is still young. I’m sure Serena wouldn’t mind if you stayed here and got to know the neighbours a little better, hey Serena?”
“Stay, have fun.” Serena said sleepily before yawning and Olivia offered her a room upstairs for the night to save them from having to walk back even though it wasn’t far of a walk at all. Serena agreed apologizing to Carl though he just smiled and embraced her in a hug before kissing her goodnight. Olivia waited patiently before helping Serena upstairs whilst Carl headed back inside to the other neighbours. He chatted sports and work with a group of guys for a while before he realized that Olivia hadn’t come back down yet. It wasn’t until another fifteen minutes had passed before she did looking as perfect as she had when she opened the door to them this afternoon. She came over to tell him that Serena was safely tucked in and sat down joining him drinking.
As the late evening turned into early morning people started to leave the party and Carl was getting more and more drunk. He was slurring his words and struggling to see straight but he still felt great like he could keep going. Then the last husband and wife left leaving just him and Olivia. The two of them chat for a while, really hitting it off and Carl couldn’t help but wonder if Olivia was flirting at one point.
“I think you should stay here tonight Carl.” Carl froze, he suspected Olivia of flirting and he had gone along with it thinking it was harmless drunk fun but perhaps she thought he’d wanted more. “Serena is in the guest room upstairs, you can join her and not have to sleep alone tonight.” Carl breathed a sigh of relief. He loved his wife more than anything but he was very drunk and Olivia was a very attractive woman. Deep down he knew that was a pitiful excuse as he knew he wouldn’t have been able to decline her offer had she offered. Like most men though, he was flawed and alcohol only made that flaw worse. She led him upstairs to the guest room where his wife was flat out sleeping on the bed. He waited for Olivia to leave before he undressed but she waited there expectantly.
“Take your top off for Carl, it’s not anything I haven’t seen before.” With Olivia waiting expectantly Carl just shrugged and took off his top. He wasn’t exactly muscular, he always had a thin frame, it didn’t help that he was quite short and was always teased over how little muscle he had and how weak he was. Tried as he did he could never get in the routine of working out, he hated it so he took care of what he ate and had kept himself slim. Siting down, Carl expected Olivia to walk out but she suggestively walked up to him pulling down her dress to reveal her naked body underneath. He froze as he was overwhelmed by her perfect body and then he panicked turning round to check Serena was still asleep.
“Don’t worry about her. She’ll be out until the morning.” Olivia purred as she straddled over him undoing his jeans. “Besides, we had our fun earlier.” Carl was lost in the moment so it took him a minute to register what she said but he finally did.
“What do you mean, ‘you had your fun earlier’?” Olivia just laughed and she pulled out her phone showing a video of her and his wife kissing. She was still out of it but she was giggling afterwards. It then went on to show Olivia going down on his wife, she kept looking into the camera lens as she teased Serena and got her to say that Carl never made her feel like this. Carl felt betrayed even though he knew he wasn’t far off doing the same thing.
“She’s had her fun, time for yours.” Carl’s eyes blurred as Olivia removed his jeans and took his cock between her fingers.
Carl woke up to a bright room which he didn’t recognise his own. His head was pounding and he felt sick but he struggled to remember the night before. There was the BBQ and the drinking, he remembered Serena getting drunk early and also flirting with Olivia but that was about it. Gingerly he got out of bed and that was when he noticed something was wrong. Looking down he could see that his penis had been encased in some kind of steel device. Panicking, Carl tried frantically to remove it but it was secured around the base of his balls and locked by a small padlock. It was then that he heard his wife stir beside him and he rushed to get dressed before she saw.
“My head hurts!” Serena moaned beside him. “How much did I drink last night?”
“Quite a lot. I did also, can’t remember much at all.” Carl admitted wondering whether he passed out, the last thing he remembered was sitting downstairs with Olivia. “I’m going to go thank Olivia for letting us stay. See you downstairs.”
When Carl left the room Serena lifted the covers to inspect the cold touch she felt which caused her to wake up. She had been completely fitted in a metal chastity belt which was locked into place. Like Carl she had very little memory of the night before, her last one being that of going outside to get some air. Wanting all of a sudden to get home she quickly got dressed and walked slowly upstairs, worried that the metal contraption would make a sound.
“So, you two had a good time last night yes?” Olivia looked just as perfect as she had the night before, not a hair out of place and although she’d been drinking as well she didn’t seem to show any signs of being hungover.
“Yeah, what I remember of it anyway.” Carl joked to hide his worry and Olivia laughed. She made the two of them a coffee and they sat there quietly both deep in thought and hungover. They didn’t stay too long after that, both wanting to return home to try to get the strange devices off of themselves without letting the other know.
For most of the afternoon Carl and Serena both attempted to get their devices off, Carl in the garage and Serena upstairs. Both had taken a box to pretend they were emptying but with the agenda to get their device off before their partner realized. There would just be too many questions they wouldn’t be able to answer. On top of the question of how the devices were placed on them they were both worried whether they had been unfaithful. How were they in the position to have the devices placed on them in the first place? Unfortunately for them they were both unsuccessful at removing the steel devices which made going to the toilet all the more difficult. Carl’s device had a slit to piss through but he had to sit on the seat to pee. As for Serena, there were small holes for the pee to pass through and there was a hole where her ass was so she could poop without it being obstructed by the belt. That night they both went to bed early, exhausted from the night before and worried about how they were going to get the devices off of them.
Carl woke up early the next day for work. He had to commute to the city for his work in the office and he’d been hoping to have the device removed by then. It was this morning that he found out another downside to it. He woke up in a large amount of pain as his erect penis pushed against the metal cage unable to fully grow. The pain was unlike anything Carl had felt and he had to have a cold shower to get it down. The mixture of the pain and the fact he couldn’t touch himself actually made him feel more aroused and he could already feel the blood flow once more after the shower and he sat uncomfortable as he ate cereal. This was going to be a long day he thought as he went upstairs to give the sleeping Serena a goodbye kiss.
Serena was awake before Carl was but she was too scared to get out of the bed before he left for work in case he saw the belt. Standing by the window, hiding behind the curtain she watched him drive off to work before she went downstairs. She debated looking online to see who could come out and remove the device but she wouldn’t be able to live with the humiliation of someone she didn’t know seeing her like that and naked. Out of options she decided to walk over to Olivia, it was early but perhaps she’d be able to help.
“Good Morning Serena, everything okay?” Serena took in Olivia’s appearance in just her silk underwear as she opened the door. She couldn’t help but feel inferior to her and she nervously asked if she could come in, she needed help. Over coffee Serena explained how she woke up after Serena’s party with the device locked on her and she was wondering if it was placed on her by one of the neighbours during the party.
“Oh no, it wasn’t any of the neighbours.”
“How would you know?” Serena asked, goose-bumps raised on her skin as Olivia’s tone made her fearful.
“It was me, now lets get that contraption off of you. Come with me.”
Carl didn’t get back to his new house until six that evening and he was surprised to find that Serena wasn’t in. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing as he wanted another attempt at removing the steel cage. With her not in he could attempt using one of his tools he unpacked yesterday to delicately cut it off. It was then that he saw the note on the table.
Carl,
Just over visiting Olivia, come over as soon as you get in, she’s cooking dinner for us both.
Serena xoxoxoxo
Deciding that he could give the tools a chance another time he quickly showered before getting changed and heading over to Olivia’s.
Olivia opened the door wearing a leather outfit that completely stunned Carl. She motioned for him to come in walking off into her living room and he could smell the food cooking from another room, it smelt amazing. Before Carl got the chance to speak however, Olivia took the opportunity to shock him straight away.
“Carl, remove your clothes here and then follow me downstairs.” The authority in her voice almost had him complying immediately but he questioned her.
“What? No! Where is Serena?”
“Look you little man. I know what pathetic secret you’re hiding underneath those clothes, if you want it removed ever, do as I say. Remove your clothes and follow me. That is unless you want it kept on you forever?” The venom in her voice made him rush to get undressed and he followed her with his hands covering his caged cock and balls. She led him through the kitchen where he saw a couple from the night before, naked and chained together whilst they prepared her meal. They didn’t look up at him as he passed but he noticed the male had a cage similar to his and the woman had a chastity belt on. Serena opened a locked door to reveal stone stairs that led downstairs to her basement. As he went down the stairs he heard the sound of something vibrating and the moans of his wife.
“Serena!” he called out as he pushed past Olivia and he froze at what he saw. Kneeling over some device, Serena had her arms tied behind her back with the rope tied to a hook in the floor. There was rope around her neck which tied to four poles around her and her mouth was gagged with a large ball type object. There was also string tied around her nipples attached to two more hooks on the floor, stretching them painfully. Her eyes were closed and she didn’t seem to be aware of his presence.
“What have you done to her?” Carl almost screamed out in shock at what he saw.
“Well your wife came to me early this morning. I got her to come down here this morning and well, she’s been on that ever since. It’s called a Sybian and it is a very powerful vibrator. The worse part is that I’ve made sure that she hasn’t had an orgasm yet. She’s been on that thing for nine hours now, and every time she’s come close to climax the vibrating stops and it’s cut out. Since she’s tied down to it so tightly she can’t even hump it to bring herself over the edge and believe me, she’s tried.”
“Serena, are you okay?” Carl shouted once again, not fully taking in what Olivia explained.
“She can’t hear you, nor see you either for that matter. I was pleased to note your wife wore contact lenses, you see I had this new pair I wanted to try out on her. They’re called blackout lenses and they pretty much do just that, blackout all sight so that she cannot see. The headphones in her ear are the latest in noise cancelling technology so although the white noise and subliminal messages being played into her brain aren’t too loud, she can’t hear a thing unless I speak into this mic. Now whilst I won’t make a deal to free her, I will offer you a chance to earn her some much needed release. You can’t imagine the torture, the hell she is in. well not yet anyway but you will do soon enough. She will give anything for release right now and I will allow you the chance to earn her that, oh and just in case you’re too selfish for that.” Carl looked up when Olivia paused to see her take a photo of him naked and caged on her phone. “This picture will find it’s way to your office, to your social media pages. Think of the irreparable damage that would cause to your life. All you need to do is agree to obey me without question this evening and the picture will not go online and your wife will be allowed the orgasm she so badly craves right now. Do we have a deal?”
Carl’s mind was racing as he tried to think of a way out of the situation but he already knew that he was royally screwed. He could refuse her but then god knows what she’d do to Serena, not to mention the hell his life would be if that picture made it’s way online.
“Yes, I’ll do it.” Carl resigned fearing the worse.
“Good. You see this house used to belong to my parents. We had lived here for quite some time but unfortunately they were involved in a car accident which took them both away from me. They left this house to me and I had to admit losing them changed me. I went to a very dark place and as much as my neighbours tried to help by coming round and offering their support, it did not help. Eventually I found a way to relieve the pain I felt and that came in the form of lashing out on others. It first started when I had an affair with the man you saw in the kitchen. I found ways to humiliate and use him but couldn’t bring myself to permanently destroy his relationship so I took control of his wife as well. I actually control most of this neighbourhood, some even behind their spouse’s back but you two will be my first permanent twenty-fouseven slaves.”
“What do you mean slaves?” Carl asked, his body trembling. Although he was sympathetic about the loss of her parents, no one should have to go through that at a young age, this was wrong, immoral and inexcusable. If she thought he’d go along with this permanently she had another thing coming he thought to himself. As soon as he had the opportunity to free his wife and get out he’d call the police.
“Well I have plans for the both of you, ways to transform the both of you into the toys I want you to be. I won’t go into the details as I won’t want to spoil it for you but you’re both in for some very big changes. Now go sit on the desk over there.” Carl looked over to the corner of the basement where Olivia was pointing to see a make-up desk. It looked completely out of place in the gloomy basement but as he walked over he noticed that it looked new, the surface empty and the mirror at the back of the desk surrounded by little lights and spotless. He then felt his hands pulled behind the chair and heard the click of something metallic. Carl couldn’t help but panic as he found that his hands had been cuffed behind the chair.
“We’re going to start tonight by giving you a little makeover Carl, you see I have too many male slaves who will do anything for me when I call upon them and there’s something oh so delicious about taking a once proud man and feminizing him. I advise you stay still, this will hurt if you move.” Carl’s eyes widened in surprise when he heard the sound of an electric razor and he could only watch in the mirror as Olivia completely removed his beard. There was something so humiliating about being shaved against your will, that strip of masculinity that Carl was so used to, that he actually liked about his image taken away from him. Olivia wasn’t finished there though, although Carl never had much body hair to begin with she took care to make sure that every piece was removed from him starting with his chest and arms then onto his legs before finally she knelt in front of him and spread his legs.
“My, what a useless little dick you have there.” Olivia laughed and Carl felt his cheeks redden. He knew he was slightly below average in size but Olivia had never complained. “Now be very still, you don’t want me to slip whilst I’m down here.” The mischievous grin on Olivia’s face made Carl wonder whether she would deliberately slip but he stayed extra still to ensure he didn’t give her any excuse to slip. His shame grew as he watched the hair fall between his legs leaving just a stubble. That wouldn’t do for Olivia though as she went back upstairs briefly and returned with some warm water, shaving gel and a razor. The shaving gel Carl noticed was actually marketed for woman advertising super soft skin and had a smell that reminded him of a perfume that his wife wore. He was helpless as Olivia generously applied the gel around his groin, body and face and then used the razor to completely shave him until he was completely smooth. He looked up and saw the reflection of his bare chest, arms and face and he felt defeated, hoping that this was it and he and Serena can both go home.
“Well that’s a good start.” Nope, this definitely wasn’t it thought Carl deflated as she pulled out some hair removal cream. “This is just to ensure that you stay completely smooth, I will apply some now and then you will do so every other day. If I spot a hair on you other than those on top of your head, there will be consequences.” Carl sulked to himself as Olivia applied the cream all over his body and his lower face before she patted him dry with a towel. Still however she wasn’t done as she pulled out a pair of tweezers from the draw in the desk and started working on Carl’s eyebrows. He winced in pain as she plucked out his eyebrows and then frowned when he saw the thin feminine shape they now held. It looked wrong to him because of what he was used to but Olivia was very pleased with her work as she giggled to herself.
“Now for the make-up.” Olivia squealed, obviously unable to contain her excitement.
“What, no! Please don’t.” Carl begged as he saw her pull out the rather large amount of supplies she had but she wouldn’t listen. Olivia started with a face brush as she added a subtle pink blush to Carl’s cheeks. His shame grew when she moved on to his eye lashes using an eyelash curler to style his lashes before she finally applied a another shade of pink lipstick to his lips. Carl could never imagine the face staring back at him could be his own, a face he knew so well feminized so convincingly and so quickly.
“This is just a basic start. You’ll learn more about this over time and you’ll teach yourself how to apply it and how to find colours that work for you. Now if you could open your mouth for me.” Olivia ordered and Carl didn’t respond, still in shock at how he looked. When Olivia pinched one of his nipples however he cried out and she forced a ball-gag into his mouth. With the gag in place Olivia reached into the draw once more and pulled out a wig.
“I’ve been preparing to do this for a long time, waiting for someone young with your kind of build that I can transform. You can’t know how much it turns me on knowing what I plan for you.” Olivia was touching herself as she spoke and Carl couldn’t help the erection that strained against his chastity device.
“Smile for the camera” Olivia teased before taking a picture of Carl’s reflection in the mirror. Carl couldn’t believe it and it took him a second to realise what she’d done before he began to panic once more.
“Don’t worry. This is merely for insurance. If you behave and do as I say no one will have to see the picture. Now I’m going to remove your cuffs and get you ready for a few more pictures. Remember to play along or the pictures will go public.” Carl ignored Olivia’s command and the second the cuffs were removed her jumped up and went to run to the basement door but was immediately pulled back by Olivia who used his momentum to send him flying to the floor. It didn’t help that he had barely any muscles or height to him other wise he may of made it but Carl had always been weak physically. Whilst he was on the floor she kicked him and assaulted him whilst all he could do was try to shield himself until eventually he gave in.
“You’ll learn to obey first time soon enough.” Olivia began and she then helped him up and cuffed him to one of the support beams in the basement. She slapped his face, chest and penis constantly until tears filled his face. He was physically and emotionally spent and all he wanted was for the beating to stop but Olivia didn’t relent.
“Just remember, when you fuck up, it’s not just you that pays.” Olivia said over his blubbering and then turned her attention to Serena. With her sense cut off Serena wasn’t prepared for the firstly slap to her breast and Carl could only watch helplessly as Olivia repeated the treatment she gave to him on her. Serena cried out in shock but with the constant teasing her mind was a mess and she was very tired so she just took the beating, sulking softly.
“Are you going to behave this time?” Olivia tugged at Serena’s hair threatening to hurt her more and Carl gave in.
“Yes, I’ll do as you say, please don’t hurt her anymore.” Carl begged once again and then let out a sigh of relief when Olivia released her grip and then uncuffed him. Once free she went back to the desk where there was a black bag by the side of it. She pulled out a pair of matching light purple lace panties and bra.
“I hope these fit, trying to guess your size after only seeing you for the first time a month or so ago when you went to view the house with your wife. You’re very small though, almost nothing to you. I bet even my own stuff will be too big on you. You’re body is pathetic, it’s more feminine than masculine before my interference. Now put these on.” Carl stepped into the panties more humiliated than he’d ever been in his life but he didn’t have a choice. There was nothing else he could do. Moving on to the bra he struggled to fix it on behind him and ended up looking hopelessly over to Olivia who laughed before helping it on. For the rest of the night she had Carl try on different dresses and skimpy clothes designed for girls and model them for her. Of course she took a picture of each outfit he wore and all the time he watched Serena struggle as the Sybian would bring her close and then stop, her whimpering made him cringe and he just wanted to help her.
“Right, that’s enough for your first night.” Olivia started. “You’ll sleep here tonight, in those panties, if I find they’re removed when I come back down you’ll both be in trouble. Now lay down.” Carl complied this time not wanting a repeat of the beating for himself or Serena. When he was on the floor she cuffed his arms in front of him round the pole and then went to leave.
“What about Serena? You promised.” Carl cried out.
“You’re right.” Olivia said and she changed the setting on the Sybian with her phone. Carl watched and it didn’t take long for Serena’s body to shake violently as a long anticipated orgasm ripped through her body. She cried out loudly into the gag and her whole body shook in response to the orgasm, she’d never reacted like that when she was with him Carl thought to himself. It didn’t end there however and the Sybian continued it’s assault on Serena.
“You said you’d release her!” Carl shouted as Olivia’s body buckled once again and she tiredly moaned into the gag.
“No, I didn’t. I said I’d grant her release, which she has and will again, and again, and again. Enjoy your sleep.” Olivia laughed wickedly as she left the basement, locking the door behind her. Carl tried to get comfortable but on the cold stone floor it was near impossible. Then there was the cries from Serena, at first it was only pleasure but after each orgasm that passed it was obviously causing her pain. A little later he noticed that she wasn’t making any sounds at all he could see that she’d passed out though that wasn’t for long before she woke up with a mixture of pain and pleasure once again.
That night Carl hardly got any sleep at all and was almost thankful by the time Olivia came back down and turned off the Sybian. Serena had passed out again and Carl didn’t blame her, it must be the only escape she had all night when she was passed out.
“Get up.” Olivia commanded when she uncuffed him and she led him upstairs to the bathroom where she helped him remove the makeup that had messed up whilst he had slept and removed the wig. Olivia then had him shower and handed him female toiletries to use. The toiletries were centred around softening skin and a small part of Carl thought it actually felt nice though he wouldn’t admit it. Once he had washed Olivia told him to put the panties and bra back on before getting dressed in the clothes he had yesterday.
“Now you will go home, when you are home you will change into your work clothes but ensure the panties and the bra remain on, I expect a picture every hour showing them sent to my number which I have placed in your phone. Serena will stay with me throughout the day and if you prove you’re wearing them every half hour through pictures I’ll prove she’s still in one piece. Now get to work, I have plans for you Carl, or should I say Crystal.“

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I will bet you £20 that HI #86 will not contain a Sports Ball Corner

Following the discussion in #85 on whether the Sutton reserve goal-keeper should eat a pie, and the impossible position he was put in, I would like to put our hosts into the same position.
Having seen this thread, they will effectively be choosing the winner, as the goal keeper did. Either they mention Sports ball corner, choosing you as the winner of this bet. Or they deliberately leave it out, meaning I win.
Psst, Grey & Brady I will split the winnings with you if you skip Sports Ball Corner in #87!
If they mention it, I immediately will call for their resignation as they are obviously guilty of bet-rigging. If it is not mentioned, you can be sure they are colluding with the betting company (ie. me). #SportsBallGate
Small Print
For clarity, the bet is offered at odds 2.0 (ie. if there IS a sports ball corner in #87 I will pay you £20, if there is not then you pay me £20). The episode in question is the next full episode (specials / secret / bonus episodes are excluded) 2 episodes after #85 (presumably #87). First taker only. The episode will be considered to contain sports ball corner if the phrase "sports ball corner" is spoken, and a sporting event or betting on a sports event (including this post) is discussed for more than 60 seconds. Gambling must be legal for you in your country & in the UK, and you must be over 18 in order to accept this bet. Grey and Brady, friends, family, associates and people from the Bahamas are prohibited from accepting this bet. This bet is "on my honour" and the loser must pay the winner through PayPal after #86 is released. If there is a dispute, CGP Grey & Brady may arbitrate and make a final decision.
EDIT: Ahuri3 has accepted the bet for HI #87 (changed from my previous offer of #86 as that may have already been recorded). Fingers crossed!
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Christopher Columbus was objectively an Evil Globalist. Don't fall for supporting him because of White Identity Politics.

I have compiled detailed Primary Sources about Christopher Columbus' treatment of Taino People. Please read the entire thing before responding, if you are in support of him. Most people who support Columbus Day do not know much about it let alone have heard of the word Taino.

Columbus -
”They traded with us and gave us everything they had, with good will ... they took great delight in pleasing us ... They are very gentle and without knowledge of what is evil; nor do they murder or steal...Your highness may believe that in all the world there can be no better people ... They love their neighbours as themselves, and they have the sweetest talk in the world, and are gentle and always laughing.”

"These people are very unskilled in arms; with 50 men they could all be subjected and made to do all that one wished.”

Bartolome De las Casas -
"A boat could sail from the Bahamas to Haiti without a compass or chart, guiding itself solely by the Trail of the dead Indians who had been thrown from the ships."

"The Spaniards forced their way into Native settlements, slaughtering everyone they found there, including small children, old men, pregnant women, and even women who had just given birth. They hacked them to pieces, slicing open their bellies with their swords as though they were so many sheep herded into a pen. They even laid wagers on whether they could manage to slice a man in two at a stroke, or cut an individual?s head from his body, or disembowel him with a single blow of their axes. They grabbed suckling infants by the feet and, ripping them from their mothers breasts, dashed them headlong against the rocks."

"All those who could do so took to the hills and mountains in order to escape the clutches of these merciless and inhuman butchers, these mortal enemies of human kind trained hunting dogs to track them down. Wild dogs who would savage a Native to death as soon as look at him, tearing him to shreds and devouring his flesh as though we were a pig."

“They spared no one, erecting especially wide gibbets on which they could string their victims up with their feet just off the ground and then burn them alive.”

“Yet another member of the governor?s party galloped about cutting the legs off all the children as they law sprawling on the ground.”

“Indeed they invented so many new methods of murder that it would be quite impossible to set them all down on paper.”

“Not a single Native of the Island committed a capital offense, as defined in law, against the Spanish while all this time the Natives themselves were being savaged and murdered."

"Both women and men were given only wild grass to eat and other unnutritions foodstuffs. The mothers of young children promptly saw their milk dry up."

"During the three or four months I was there, more than seven thousand children died of hunger, after their parents had been shipped off to the mines."

"A Spaniard who was out hunting deer or rabbits realized that his dogs were hungry and not finding anything they could hunt, took a little boy from his mother, cut his arms and legs into chunks with his knife and distributed them among his dogs."

"He sent fifty men on horseback who proceeded to annihilate the entire population of an area greater than the county of Roussillon, sparing not a single man or woman, old man, or child, and this they did on the flimsiest of pretexts, accusing their victims of not coming quickly enough when they were summoned, or of not having brought enough cargas of maize or of not surrendering sufficient of their kinsmen as slaves either to the governor himself or to one or another of his henchmen. These men were driven by the Devil and not a single Native managed to escape, what with the land being as flat as it was and the Spaniards having horses."

"They cut his head from his shoulders so they would not have to break the chains that held the line of prisoners together and his head would fall to one side of the baggage train and his trunk to the other."

"After a day or two had gone by, several victims surfaced, soaked from head to foot in the blood of their fellows beneath whose bodies they had sheltered and, with tears in their eyes, pleaded for their lives, but the Spaniards showed them no mercy nor any compassion, and no sooner did they crawl out from under the pile of corpses than they were butchered. The Spanish commander gave orders that the leading citizens, who numbered over a hundred and were roped together, were to be tied to stakes set in the ground and burned alive."

"During these eleven years, more than two million souls have perished and, in an area of more than a hundred leagues by a hundred leagues, only two thousand survivors are to be seen, and even this number is shrinking day by day as the survivors succumb to the rigours of a life of slavery."

"Once the Natives saw that their deep humility, generosity and submissiveness did nothing to soften the hearts of these ravening beasts, and that the Spaniards were prepared to hack them to pieces for absolutely no reason whatever, they decided that although they stood no chance of defeating ferocious enemies who were on horseback and were armed to the teeth, they might as well die as men in defense of their homes, avenging themselves on their wicked and hellish enemies, even though they were well aware that, weak as they were, on foot and unarmed, they were doomed to die whatever they did."

"One of his officers was responsible for the indiscriminate slaughter of many locals, hanging some, burning others alive, and throwing yet others to wild dogs, sometimes sawing off their hands and feet, sometimes pulling out their tongues or hacking off their heads. Even though the locals never raised a finger against the Spaniards, the distinguished commander knowingly allowed this spate of atrocities to continue unchecked, directed as it was to terrorizing the local people into doing his bidding and into brining him gifts of Gold or other precious objects."

"A man would be invited to choose from among the fifty or a hundred young girls the one he most fancied and she would then be handed over in exchange for wine or oil or vinegar, or for a side of salt pork."

"One woman, who was indisposed at the time and so not able to make good her escape, determined that the dogs should not tear her to pieces as they has done her neighbors and, taking a rope, and trying her one-year-old child to her leg, hanged herself from a beam. Yet she was not in time to prevent the dogs from ripping the infant to pieces.”

"I testify that I saw with my own eyes Spaniards cutting off the hands, noses, and ears of local people, both men and women, simply for the fun of it, and that this happened time and again in various places through the region. On several occasions I also saw them set dogs on the people, many being torn to pieces in this fashion, and they also burned down houses and even whole settlements, too numerous to count."

"They tortured him with the strappado, put burning tallow on his belly, pinned both his legs to poles with iron hoops and his neck with another and then, with two men holding his hands, proceeded to burn the soles of his feet. From time to time, the commander would look in and repeat that they would torture him to death slowly unless he produced more Gold.”

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Columbus had them:
-grilled,
-cut up into pieces like sheep,
-run down by hunting dogs and torn to pieces,
-strung up and burned alive 13 at a time – in memory of Jesus and his 12 Apostles.

They killed even women and children. Even babies: the Spanish threw babies against rocks and into rivers – and laughed. They cut off pieces of Tainos for entertainment. They cut off their heads for practice. They raped women and girls – and brought back syphilis to Europe. They even raped the wife of a king.

The Spanish were kinder to their animals. If a Taino killed a Spaniard, the Spanish killed 100 Tainos in return. They killed Tainos by the thousands, even those who brought them food and gifts. They killed half the people of the kingdom of Maguana outright.

After the killing fields, the Spanish divided the remaining Tainos among themselves to teach them the Christian faith:
-For Taino men that meant working in the mines, often being worked to death. As many as 90% died within in three months. -For Taino women that meant working the land, even the heavy work that men used to do.

There was so little food that babies died for lack of milk. Children died of hunger by the thousands. Men were worked so hard in the mines that few children were born. Columbus demanded a certain amount gold or cotton from each Taino over the age of 13. Those who failed to meet his demands had their hands cut off. All this was shocking behaviour by Western standards of the time.
When there were no longer enough Taino workers left, the Spanish brought in African slaves to take their place.

It was such a hell on earth that:
-Mothers killed their babies. -Mass suicides were common.

Many fled to the mountains, fighting the Spanish from there. Hatuey, one of the Taino kings of Cuba, told his people to throw their gold into the river: the Christians worshipped gold as their god and would kill them for it. In 1512 when Hatuey was about to be burned at the stake, a Franciscan brother told him him about the Christian faith to save his soul. When Hatuey found out that most good Christians were going to Heaven, he chose Hell.

Taino Queen Anacoana:

In 1503 during a meeting of 80 caciques, including Anacaona, the Spanish Governor Nicolás de Ovando ordered the meeting house to be set on fire to burn them alive, similar to what centuries later occurred to Rigoberta Manchu's family in Guatemala. Cacica Anacaona and her Taíno noblemen were arrested — all accused of conspiracy for resisting occupation and executed.

Prior to her execution, Anacaona was offered clemency if she would give herself as concubine to one of the Spaniards which was common in the era. Standing with her fellow Taínos in solidarity, the Caribbean indigenous female leader (cacica) chose execution over colluding with her Spanish enemy, her refusal cementing her legend. Anacaona remained rebellious and independent until her violent public death.

Because Anacaona refused the sexual offer of the Spanish intruders while others were shot, Anacaona was executed by hanging at 29 years old.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/Vida_y_viajes_de_Cristobal_Col%C3%B3n%2C_1851_Honores_tributados_a_la_Reina_%283819533241%29.jpg
After exploring the Caribbean, Columbus returned to the island of Hispaniola in 1498, known today as the Dominican Republic and Haiti. He had left his brothers Diego and Bartholomew in charge and according to Columbus, conditions had deteriorated in his absence. He decided to increase the terror campaign against the Taino people, ruling with excessive cruelty, causing resentment from the colonists and local indian chiefs alike. Complaints of his brutality reached the Spanish monarchs and in 1500 a Chief Justice was dispatched to bring him and his brothers back to Spain in chains. But Columbus was soon forgiven for his atrocities and granted a fourth and final expedition back to the island of Hispaniola.

Upon his arrival Columbus conducted an unparalleled campaign of torture and mass murder. By the time he finally left the island in 1504, the Taino had been reduced from eight million down to 100,000, making Columbus the most prolific serial killer in human history. He and his men committed some of the cruelest atrocities against another race ever recorded. Columbus used any pretext as an excuse to kill and torture. Those poor souls who could not pay tribute to him had their hands cut off and were left to bleed to death.

Columbus was documented by the chronicles of Las Casas, know as Brev’sima relaci-n, to have partaken in mass hangings, roasting people on spits, burnings at the stake, and hacking young children to death as punishment for the most minor of crimes. He and his men massacred the natives, sometimes hundreds at a time for sport, making bets on who could split a man in two, or cut a head off in one blow. By 1542 there were only 200 Taino remaining on the island and soon afterwords they were considered extinct.

The Standard Rebuttals:

BUT BUT DISEASE DID IT.
Answer: Defenders of Columbus argue that a large amount of the victims were killed by disease however they fail to recognize that most of these diseases were caused by poor living conditions in forced labour camps. Deprived of their crops and fields, many fell prey to dysentery and typhus, were worked to death or were left to starve to death.

BUT BUT YOU WOULDN’T EXIST.
Answer: The Butterfly Effect comes from literally any event occurring, no matter how minute. One could make that same argument about Hitler, Mao, and Stalin never existing. Are their genocide's macro-events a good thing simply because they resulted in quintillions of micro-events that causing your parents getting together and making love? Of course not. With the Alternate Reality that would exist and infinite number of futures are possible both positive and negative.

So yes, what have you learned today?
Columbus was worse then ISIS.
If you support Columbus you are a Globalist.
PERIOD :spicer:
submitted by FlamingoBaby100 to conspiracy [link] [comments]

[OC] Lost Leagues- Part IV: History of the Stars Football League

When you think of stars, what do you think of? Some people think of Stars on 45, who made a Beatles medley yet included “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies (not a Beatles song). Some people think of a City of Stars, even though that wasn’t the best song in the movie (“Start a Fire” for the win in that category). And some think in the sense of the universe or the galaxy and think of outer space.
When I asked that prompt to think of stars, how many of you thought of the Stars Football League? Because this was a league that actually existed… and judging by the name of this post, it went about as well as you’d expect.
On Lost Leagues, so far, we’ve looked at the United Football League, the Spring Football League, and the Fall Experimental Football League. All three of them turned out to be failures. And even though the Stars Football League turned out to be a failure, it might have the funniest ending of any league I’ll come across. The league was horribly run, everyone involved was out of their mind and delusional… but the ending to this league is absolutely hysterical.
So, with that being said, let’s look at another attempt at spring football that backfired. This is the story of the Stars Football League.
Part I: Developing the League
Oddly enough, for a league that was created in 2010, I can’t find any articles about the creation of this league. You’ll be able to tell very quickly that this league didn’t exactly have a whole lot of coverage or promotion; I mentioned in a completely unrelated thread that it really puts into perspective how incredible the XFL was. For practically every league I’ve done, you had to put in the effort to find out it existed. For the XFL? You couldn’t escape it. Say what you want about the league, but the promotion for that was off the charts.
As for the SFL, there really isn’t anything confirming the creation of the league. Not even the league’s website (which is still up) has any articles on it; this is the first article ever from their website. We know it was, at the very least, founded in October of 2010, because that was when one of the franchises got their logo approved.
The SFL was going to be the solution for spring football. It would have six or eight teams all over the country, ranging from Las Vegas to Michigan to Fort Lauderdale. It promised a team that would play at the Pontiac Silverdome. It promised new rules (which we’ll get to later). Instead (and stop me if you heard this one before), the league only started with four teams. This seems to be a common theme amongst spring leagues- they want to start with more teams but are only able to get four off of the ground straight away.
The man responsible for this league was Peter Huthwaite, the co-owner of Giant Janitorial Service Incorporated. Unlike some other commissioners, he had experience in professional football; I was able to find this 1978 article from the Washington Post which mentioned his name as an agent. He’s definitely been around the block representing players, so unlike other leagues, this man actually has some qualifications to try something like this.
The rules of the league were a bit different. They had the three point conversion, where a team could take the 2-point conversion from 10 yards out for 3 points. Any field goal taken from 50 yards or more that was successful counted as 4 points (which seems to reward bad offense; I’ve seen this rule a few times before and I’m not a huge fan of it). Aside from that and the play clock being 30 seconds, everything else was the same.
This league had high ambitions. The 2011 season would just be the beginning. In fact, the SFL was so confident that they already announced expansion to Los Angeles in 2012. Not only did they announce a Las Vegas team, but they even went through with the logo. There were 6 teams in the South (Little Rock, New Orleans, Mobile, Charleston, Daytona Beach, and Fort Lauderdale), with the league being headquartered in Michigan (makes perfect sense), and a team being in Michigan and Las Vegas.
But the writing was on the wall from the very beginning, because just one month before the start of the season, the league was still in the planning phase. In a May article, the league would start “on or around June 18”. “On or around” isn’t exactly the most comforting phrase. Imagine if the NFL announced that they would play games every day of the week instead of Sundays, and in August, announced that week 1 would take place “on or around” September 6. Kind of screws up travel plans and all that.
The other problem with the league? It was incredibly delusional. This is a 2010 article about the creation of the league. This part in particular stood out to me:
The league’s financial model is “based on averaging 10,000 fans over 30 games buying $20 tickets, which would raise $6 million.”
First off, if this is a minor league with no television contract (they didn’t have instant replay because they had no TV deal), very little promotion (I bet none of you have ever even heard of this league before this post), and poor quality of football (if players are receiving $100 per game but are having to pay their own travel expenses, then you’re not gonna get good players), how are you averaging 10,000 fans per game? The UFL couldn’t even do that in its first season, and even though there was poor planning involved, they had a television contract and promotion. Playing 30 games is a bit ambitious for a league like this, but I can see it; if there are 8 teams in the league, everyone plays each other once, and then 4 teams make the playoffs, that leaves you with 31 games.
But who is buying $20 tickets for minor league football? If my two options over the spring/summer are to go to a minor league baseball game in a nice stadium for $10, or go to a minor league football game in a high school stadium for $20, I’m choosing the baseball game every day of the week. About 20 minutes from my house, a minor league baseball team plays where it’s $8 for a regular ticket and $12 for a club ticket behind home plate. A $20 ticket in the SFL could get you 5-yard line seats on uncomfortable bleachers.
Already, the league was in massive trouble with a flawed business plan and only 4 teams in the league when they were expecting 6-8. So how did their first season go?
Part II: The 2011 Season
After promising 6-8 teams and unveiling logos for teams in Las Vegas and Charleston, neither Las Vegas nor Charleston was in the league. In fact, a month before, the league didn’t even know whether they were gonna have a team in Las Vegas or Los Angeles. They eventually settled on neither. While they announced a program allowing them to scout 5,500 players, they still didn’t know who would be in the league, other than the Daytona Beach Racers and the Fort Lauderdale Barracudas.
In the end, they would wind up with 4 teams. The Racers and Barracudas would be in the league, while the Michigan Coyotes would become a traveling team (again, probably not the best idea to have your league headquartered in Michigan while everything else is being held in the South), and the New Orleans Jazz (the football team, not the former NBA team that moved to Utah) would join the league midway through the season. Why you would name a team as the New Orleans Jazz, I’m not entirely sure, but then again, I’m not sure that this league had any idea what it was doing.
Oddly enough, I couldn’t find anything about the inaugural game on the league’s website. The league’s website is comically bad, and I’ll be referencing this a few times, because it’s in the “so bad it’s hysterical” category. You can buy a New Orleans Jazz jersey for $165, which is about twice what an NFL jersey goes for, and you can buy a Daytona Beach Racers polo, even though the description says something about Pebble Beach. Even when I filtered the search to the week of the game, I found absolutely nothing about the inaugural game. All I could find was that the Racers beat the Barracudas 26-13, but in terms of game details, nothing.
The first game was on June 30. The next game wouldn’t take place until July 16, once again between the Racers and Barracudas. This time, Fort Lauderdale won 22-4. Michigan still had not played a game, and New Orleans was still in limbo, as they didn’t even have a GM yet. Finally, on July 22, the New Orleans Jazz would play their first game against the Fort Lauderdale Barracudas, and the Jazz won 15-9. How good was the game? It would live for all of eternity.
I’m not kidding. The postgame article on the league’s website says this. Just read this. It’s absolutely hysterical. Whoever the PR man for this league is either doesn’t know how to do their job, or is the greatest hype man ever, and I’m not sure which one it is. Any article that starts with “No where in the history of football did anyone ever witness a game that would live for all of eternity” is worth a read.
However, the story on this game gets even weirder. Here’s a legitimately fantastic article written on the first game by a journalist named Nick Peruffo. Some of the notes I took away from the article: the SFL season was supposed to end on September 11? That’s a terrible idea. It’s a bad idea to end your football season on the day where week 1 of the NFL season would be happening. Good luck getting the crowds you wanted to get by going up directly against the NFL.
The fact that the GM for the New Orleans Jazz was a position on Craigslist and uses incredibly vague terms is pretty funny. If you haven’t noticed, the league doesn’t really go into detail on things, and uses really broad terms. Imagine if Vincent from Bojack Horseman (the 3 kids stacked on top of each other in a trench coat) gave the quotes for the league (no spoilers- I just started and binge watched season one in a day). When the Jazz hired their coach, the only quote was about having experience in football coaching. Not just coaching, but football coaching. It never lists what he’s actually done.
A game between the Jazz and Coyotes was supposed to be played the week before, but never was. It got cancelled. Tickets, as mentioned before, were $20. That’s a lot for a game where apparently, there were no rosters. The attendance was maybe 200 people, and even that might be a bit generous; here’s highlight footage of the game. As you can tell from the 2 plays, the quality of football is really, really bad. Why you would lateral the ball up 9-0 is beyond me. As you can also tell, nobody was at the game. I couldn’t find one fan in the stands.
The funniest part? The PA announcer was literally commentating the plays. The PA announcer’s name? Albert Einstein Peter Huthwaite, as in, the commissioner of the league. The commissioner was the PA announcer. Imagine if Roger Goodell was the PA announcer the next time you went to a football game. In an interview with the commissioner, he envisioned a league with 30 teams (he could barely get 4 teams off the ground), and adjusted the business plan model to get anywhere from 15,000-20,000 fans per game. Good luck with that.
The other thing I should mention is that Jaguars GM Gene Smith was a terrible general manager. I bring this up because, to my knowledge, he is the only GM that actually looked at this football league.
After a few more games, the league abruptly called the first season short. After an apparently “exciting 21-6 game” according to their PR guy, in a game that drew over 1,900 fans (which seems really high to believe, since in this highlight video of a different game, there was nobody in attendance), the league wasted no time planning out season 2, saying they would start on Saturday, 2011 (taken straight from the website; what Saturday, 2011 means to you is up for interpretation). The goals were to get a TV contract, add 10 teams (again, they could barely get 4 off the ground this year), and possibly look at Europe and China for talent.
Remember that their business model was “based on averaging 10,000 fans over 30 games buying $20 tickets, which would raise $6 million.” I doubt they even averaged 1,000 fans per game over 6 games. This league was on thin ice. Would season two fare any differently?
Part III: The 2012 Season
How do you grow a league that’s struggling and needs money? That’s easy- play a game in the Bahamas. I kid you not, that’s what the league wanted to do. They even announced it. Obviously, this never happened. And remember those plans for expansion? As you can probably guess, they didn’t expand. In fact, they lost two teams. The Michigan Coyotes folded, and the New Orleans Jazz looked to play elsewhere (they didn’t fold, but I don’t think they existed afterwards). While they did add a team, there was no announcement on the team; the Fort Myers Swampdogs announced a coaching staff out of the blue.
The plan for 2012, as described by an out-of-breath commissioner, was to play from March to July. They started the 2012 season in June with just 3 teams, all based in Florida. The Barracudas and Racers returned, but a 3-team league is tough to run. Even worse was that the Daytona Beach team was now a traveling team to an extent; they had just one home game, and it was played at Fort Pierce. In the end, the season consisted of just five games, and it was poorly run.
After the opening game between the Barracudas and the Racers, the league announced on June 12 that their next game would be on June 16. For some reason, even though every game was in Florida, the league thought it would still be a good idea to be headquartered in Michigan; the dateline on the articles was from Grosse Pointe, Michigan. The way the article is written is just hysterical; the fact that the commissioner announcer the results of the game makes it seem like a boxing match, and the fact that the Swamp Dogs “won the game 14 to 0 with two amazing touchdowns late in the fourth quarter!” is just funny to me. The first game in Fort Myers had a large and enthusiastic crowd without revealing any numbers, the next game was won by the Racers by a final score of SIX to ZERO, and the final game of the regular season was won by the Swamp Dogs.
After 5 games, we had reached the championship. They had finished a season. It would be Daytona Beach at Fort Lauderdale for the title game. Daytona Beach ended up as the champions, and the crowd was enthusiastic, but at the end of the day, that’s pretty insignificant. Let’s just jump to the offseason, where the league was still trying to find its footing.
Part IV: The 2013 Season
Yes, the league would play a third season. They wanted teams in Akron, Charleston, Cleveland, and Canton. They even wanted teams in a bunch of other cities. Oddly enough, the New Orleans Jazz were still looking for a coach, even though they’re no longer in the league. Big surprise- the Jazz wouldn’t be in the league in 2013. They announced their opening game would take place on April 6, even though when all was said and done, the league wouldn’t kick off until June.
They tried getting TV rights. It fell through. They tried getting more TV rights. It fell through. They tried permamently putting a team in the Bahamas. It fell through. They tried starting the season in April. It fell through, and only started in June instead. The 2013 season would have just 4 teams, as they added the Miami Ironmen. The Fort Myers Swampdogs were now the Pompano Swampdogs, even though they played no games in Pompano. Every team made the playoffs. I don’t even know what this article even means. The league was a mess at this point, so much so that a franchise that didn’t even exist was up for sale. They even moved the schedule to bring in expansion teams in Charlotte, Jacksonville, and Texas, even though that never happened.
Remember the Charleston Admirals, the team that had their logo announced before the start of the 2011 season but never played? They moved to Palm Beach and never played a down. They planned to add another Florida team but that never happened. There would be 100 teams in this league if the commissioner actually did something besides just talking.
In the end, every single game would take place at Central Broward Regional Park. Every game would take place at the same stadium. Didn’t really matter where the teams were stationed if every game would be at the same spot in a doubleheader format. They did get some sort of broadcasting deal with ESPN West Palm, so there actually was some progress. The league also introduced a new rule, called the 4-point conversion. If you converted from the 20-yard line, you got 4 points.
But tell me if this makes any sense. Taken directly from the website:
In the case of a tie teams will play a 5 minute sudden death overtime, if the score remains tied after the 5 minutes, each team will be awarded 5 points.
Aside from the run-on sentence and lack of punctuation, what purpose does this serve? First off, five minutes for overtime seems really short. Don’t give the NFL any ideas. Secondly, what purpose does awarding each team five points serve if the teams are already tied? If you give each team 5 points, guess what? THEY’RE STILL TIED. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE.
Anyway, the league played in 2013, with every game played at the same venue. Here are some highlights. And here is some video of the championship. As you can tell from the opening kickoff, the quality of play is really, really bad. You can also notice a lack of attendance. In the end, the expansion Miami Ironmen finished undefeated and beat the Swampdogs 21-6 to win the third season of the SFL and the second ever Presidents Cup (they didn’t play a first season championship game).
Part V: The Final Hurrah & Conclusion
After 2013, the league was still planning on surviving in 2014. How, I’m not sure, but they held a meeting and determined some expansion sites. They’re very good at determining expansion sites, but not so much at expanding. It’s like the reservation scene in Seinfeld. A league that could only find footing in Florida was now going to have 12 teams and even play in Mexico. They even had franchises set up in California and New Mexico for 2015.
But the league never made it. The 2014 season never happened. Neither did the 2015 season. They never played, but oddly enough, they never folded. The reason? This is the greatest ending in the history of any football league ever. Taken straight from the website from August in 2016, typos and all:
The SFL Board of Directors announced today that investors can not only make a wise investment and purchase their own Team, in addition, they cannow purchase the entire Stars Football League! Call now at (313)657-4711 to make your purchase today!
So if anyone here has some money and wants to purchase the entire Stars Football League, you can do that. Want to purchase a league that has team information for teams that never even played a single down in the league? You can do that. Want a ground floor investment opportunity that sounds straight out of a pyramid scheme? You can do that. Want a league where you can buy your 2012 tickets today? You can do that.
If you want to buy a football league, this is your opportunity. The SFL is not dead yet. It’s just waiting for an investor like you to buy it.
In terms of the legacy of the league, the SFL had extremely unrealistic expectations from the start. Expecting fans to spend $20 on tickets and get 20,000 fans per game with no promotion whatsoever is stupid. Announcing and then dropping expansion teams left and right and seemingly every other week is a bad idea. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where this league went wrong.
But if you want to be the one that fixes that, then go for it and buy the league.
Lost Leagues (Sundays) Record Watch- Offense (Mondays) Draft Scratchers (Tuesdays) Record Watch- Defense (Wednesdays) One Hit Wonders (Thursdays) Weird Stat Threads (Fridays)
Part I: United Football League Part I: Passing Yards Part I: Roger Vick (NY Jets, 1987) Part II: Sacks Part I: Derek Loville (San Francisco, 1995) Part I: NFL vs. Eurovision
Part II: Spring Football League Part III: Receptions Part II: Tyson Alualu (Jacksonville, 2010) N/A Part II: Patrick Jeffers (Carolina, 1999) Part II: NFL vs. Preakness
Part III: Fall Experimental Football League N/A Part III: Rick Mirer Trade (Chicago, 1997) Part IV: Interceptions Part III: Mike Furrey (Detroit, 2006) Part III: NFL vs. Stanley Cup
Part IV: Stars Football League
submitted by JaguarGator9 to nfl [link] [comments]

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